a little late for national coming out day
I'm genderqueer and trans*. In an ideal world, which this is not, I would be biologically male but would dress and present basically the way I do now. The correct pronoun for me is 'they', because I have had trouble with every single pronoun I have tried but 'they' is the least troublesome. Although not by much. 'She' is the one I cope least well with at this time. All others are fair game.
I've spent a lot of time struggling with this because 'if I were really presenting as myself I would both be a dude and a bit more femme than I am now' is, well, not a common narrative. I don't talk about the whole thing much, because it's complex and painful and a thing I generally prefer to keep to offline diary-rambling, close friends, and significant others. But I do feel that coming out is important and that having a coming out day is important. I live in a world where I cannot recall the last time my same-sex marriage was a big social deal, and a lot of that is due to where I live, but the fact is that I can mention my wife to busdrivers, checkout counter people, my primary care physician, the DMV, whenever it's appropriate to mention a spouse... I haven't even gotten a look of confusion since moving back from Texas. That is a major cultural change from how it was when I was an adolescent, and one of the things sparking it was a lot of people coming out. Because of that hard work, since getting to college I have never even had to be in.
We're not there with gender identity yet. I would like the world to change that way. So. I'm going to try to be more out.
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